


Where No Vampire Has Gone Before (the Dear Diary remix)

by deird1



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Trek
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 14:58:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deird1/pseuds/deird1
Summary: The Scooby Gang meets the Enterprise crew.





	Where No Vampire Has Gone Before (the Dear Diary remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [M_Scott_Eiland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_Scott_Eiland/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Beaming Down to a Hellmouth](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/321789) by M Scott Eiland. 



**Captain’s Log, Stardate 42317.35  
USS Enterprise, Captain C. Pike**

We encountered a strange phenomenon, similar in effect to a large collapsar. It drew the Enterprise towards itself – we attempted a slingshot maneuver, but were unsuccessful.

The phenomenon appears to have pulled the Enterprise through some kind of wormhole. We have been thrown to an unknown location, and are attempting to analyse our position.

 

**Watcher’s Diary – R. Giles  
supervising Slayer B. Summers (and Slayer F. Lehane)**

_Entry dated 14th October, 1998_

Standard patrol. Three vampires slain (B-2, F-1). Kakistos’ minions, we presume. Word is that they are “recruiting”.

 

**Captain’s Log, Stardate unknown (alternate universe)  
USS Enterprise, Captain C. Pike**

As far as we can determine, our location is in the Solar System, just near Saturn. However, this is not _our_ Solar System. The wormhole seems to have brought us to a parallel dimension.

Mr Spock informs me that carrier wave transmissions from Earth indicate a calendar date of October 15, 1998. Scans indicate that this Parallel Earth’s space travel lags behind ours by approximately 25 years. However, their computer technology is well developed.

We continue to monitor the phenomenon that pulled us through to this dimension. Its core appears to be a dimensional rift – located in Parallel Earth’s California. All signs indicate that the phenomenon will reverse polarity in approximately 40 hours from now. Mr Spock speculates that, if the Enterprise is within range of the phenomenon at that time (i.e. within 2.3 billion kilometres of Parallel Earth), the Enterprise will be sucked back through the wormhole and re-emerge in our universe.

It is important for us to investigate the phenomenon further. I will take a party down to the planet’s surface.

 

**Watcher’s Diary – R. Giles  
supervising Slayer B. Summers (and Slayer F. Lehane)**

_Entry dated 15th October, 1998_

Training with a crossbow this afternoon, followed by a routine patrol. Faith is once again absent, but Xander will accompany Buffy on a brief circuit through the northern cemeteries.

 

**Captain’s Log, Stardate unknown (alternate universe)  
USS Enterprise, Captain C. Pike**

Alarming news!

Our party has beamed down to Parallel Earth. Party members: Myself, 1st Officer Number One, 2nd Officer Spock, Lieutenant Tyler, Yeoman Colt, Dr Boyce, Security Officer Brennan, and Security Officer Davidson. Lieutenant Scott has taken command of the Enterprise, with orders to proceed back through the wormhole if we do not return in time.

Within minutes of beaming down, we encountered several alien lifeforms – humanoid, but not human. They attacked us (unprovoked). Our phasers didn’t seem to affect them: either their physiology is immune, or the physics of this dimension are different enough to affect phaser operation.

As we struggled with the aliens, two youngsters (one male, one female) ran up to assist us. They struck at our attackers with some kind of handheld disintegration device. This quickly dispatched the ones threatening us – but the rest of our party (Spock, Boyce, Brennan, and Davidson) were separated from us. The youngsters ran off to assist them. We will tend to our wounds (nothing serious), and then attempt to meet up with the others.

 

**Watcher’s Diary – R. Giles  
supervising Slayer B. Summers (and Slayer F. Lehane)**

_Entry dated 15th October, 1998 (further remarks – 8:30pm)_

Buffy and Xander have returned from patrol, accompanied by two strangers. They identified themselves as “Spock” and “Boyce”, but seem reluctant to say more.

“Spock” appears to be some kind of half-demon. I have never encountered one before, but my books have said that such entities are usually hostile. Buffy says not, though – she said they did “some freaky-deaky thought sharing thing” (her words) and that Spock was “one of the good guys”.

Apparently the two men, along with their friends, were attacked in Briskwood Cemetery during Buffy’s patrol. At least two of their number were seen being dragged off by vampires. Recruiting again, one suspects.

 

**Captain’s Log, Stardate unknown (alternate universe)  
USS Enterprise, Captain C. Pike**

We have located Spock and Boyce. They are being sheltered at the local teaching facility by our rescuers.

Spock has given us directions, and we are making our way there by foot. He informs me that the phenomenon we’ve been investigating is an interdimensional vortex that draws unusual (and hostile) lifeforms towards it. Our hosts apparently have full information on the subject.

 

**Watcher’s Diary – R. Giles  
supervising Slayer B. Summers (and Slayer F. Lehane)**

_Entry dated 15th October, 1998 (further remarks – 9:17pm)_

The rest of the group has arrived. They are: “Pike” (the leader), “Colt”, “Number One” (a woman), and “Tyler”. This accounts for all of their party except for the two missing men.

Buffy has called in the troops (Faith still absent). They all seem intrigued by our visitors (although Cordelia dubbed their outfits “so sixties – and not in a good way”).

We have just explained the standard Sunnydale information (vampires, Hellmouth, et cetera). “Pike” seems understandably concerned about the fate of his missing friends.

 

**Captain’s Log, Stardate unknown (alternate universe)  
USS Enterprise, Captain C. Pike**

Our new friends appear to be a local defence force against hostile lifeforms. Leadership is split between their combat specialist (“Buffy”) and their xenobiologist (“Giles”).

According to Giles, the lifeforms we encountered are parasites that take over the minds of their host lifeforms, turning them irrevocably against their friends. They are, in essence, their hosts’ former selves – but devoid of conscience or loyalty – with enhanced strength and speed that makes them difficult to fight. The locals have dubbed these lifeforms “vampires”, in homage to their counterparts of myth and legend.

Giles thinks that, in all probability, Officers Brennan and Davidson were taken to be hosts for these vampires. He assures us that they cannot be cured once the parasite has implanted.

I am, of course, concerned about the chaos that could be caused by a conscience-less Fleet Officer, let loose on a low-technology planet. We have asked the defence force for their assistance in subduing (and, if necessary, killing) Brennan and Davidson.

 

**Watcher’s Diary – R. Giles  
supervising Slayer B. Summers (and Slayer F. Lehane)**

_Entry dated 15th October, 1998 (further remarks – 9:51pm)_

Against my better judgement, Willow has used a locator spell to determine the whereabouts of Kakistos’ former followers. We are now “gearing up” to attack their hideout and ensure that Pike’s former associates are dealt with.

Faith just walked in. She responded to my brief explanation of the night’s events with a simple “Party!”. She is now equipping herself with throwing knives and stakes.

 

**Captain’s Log, Stardate unknown (alternate universe)  
USS Enterprise, Captain C. Pike**

A new problem!

We joined the defence force in pursuit of the vampires. Their weaponry is primitive – but, admittedly, far more effective than our phasers in this dimension. We were offered swords, axes, and even a crossbow.

Brennan and Davidson had indeed been infected by these parasites. We found them, along with three other vampires, holed up inside an abandoned dwelling. They attacked once again, and four were disintegrated in the course of combat.

The last, though – Brennan – was too quick for us. He ran out, and could not be found.

Number One advised me that the Enterprise should be warned about Brennan. She was correct, of course. I contacted Lieutenant Scott, to advise that they should on no account beam Brennan back onboard ship. Too late! He returned a few minutes ago.

 

**Watcher’s Diary – R. Giles  
supervising Slayer B. Summers (and Slayer F. Lehane)**

_Entry dated 15th October, 1998 (further remarks – 11:23pm)_

Our new friends are more mysterious than we first thought. Apparently they use portals for inter-dimensional travel. Their newly-turned colleague seems to have teleported back through to their home base – which is obviously of great concern to them all. If their dimension is truly devoid of vampires, he could sire a great deal of the population before anyone could stop him.

Pike has revealed that he can, if we are willing, take one of us with him through the portal, to help them to slay the vampire. Buffy and Faith are using Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine who will go.

 

**Captain’s Log, Stardate unknown (alternate universe)  
USS Enterprise, Captain C. Pike**

We have returned to the ship, accompanied by the Second Combat Officer from Parallel Earth. She will advise us as we attempt to track down Brennan.

I have informed the bridge that Brennan is to be treated as a hostile lifeform. No quarter will be given.

 

**Watcher’s Diary – R. Giles  
supervising Slayer B. Summers (and Slayer F. Lehane)**

_Entry the bazillionth, on Stuffyteenth of Tweedtober, 1998_

Giles, it is totally unfair that Faith gets to go dimension hopping, when I’m stuck here bandaging up the wounded. Need I remind you who has been slaying vampires for nearly four years, and who has been in the game for only a few months?

I expect serious, serious karma for this. And lots of the _nicest_ slaying duties to come my way.

Also – Giles? Padlock. Diaries are not supposed to be this easily snooped through.

 

**Captain’s Log, Stardate unknown (alternate universe)  
USS Enterprise, Captain C. Pike**

Two dead bodies have been discovered on the third engineering level. Dr Boyce informs me that their blood has been drained. According to Faith, they are unlikely to be infected by the parasites, but their bodies should be cremated immediately as a precautionary measure.

Faith, Spock, and several security officers have now set off in search of Brennan. We suspect him to be in hiding near the warp core.

 

**Watcher’s Diary – R. Giles  
supervising Slayer B. Summers (and Slayer F. Lehane)**

_Entry dated 16th October, 1998 (further remarks – 12:48am)_

I see I shall have to buy a padlock.

No news of Faith. Keeping myself awake with judicious application of caffeine and biscuits. Have sent the others home to rest.

 

**Captain’s Log, Stardate unknown (alternate universe)  
USS Enterprise, Captain C. Pike**

All is well.

Spock has returned to the bridge, with the report that Faith has successfully disintegrated Brennan. (Not, unfortunately, before Brennan attacked and killed Security Officer Myers.)

Dr Boyce has scanned all returning personnel, and advises that we do not have any more hostile entities onboard. After consulting with Faith, he has scheduled the Enterprise’s entire crew for UV light exposure tomorrow, as this is apparently an effective deterrent for the parasite.

Faith will be beamed back down to Parallel Earth. I have requested that she keep most of her experiences onboard ship to herself, so that our presence will have as little effect on the developing planet as possible.

 

**Watcher’s Diary – R. Giles  
supervising Slayer B. Summers (and Slayer F. Lehane)**

_Entry dated 16th October, 1998 (further remarks – 2:05am)_

The portal deposited Faith back into the middle of my office, just as I was pouring out a fresh brew. I now have several tea-stained books to clean.

I have asked for a full report of her time in the other world – but she is not cooperative. She simply responded “Sorry, G. Sworn to secrecy.” and took my last jam biscuit. I will have to question her at length tomorrow morning.

But now, to bed.

 

**Captain’s Log, Stardate 42318.75  
USS Enterprise, Captain C. Pike**

The interdimensional vortex has returned us, right on cue, to our home universe. We have much to report to Starfleet Command.

And now – onward!


End file.
